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The Power of Routine: Why Stability Matters After a Major Loss



Life is a constant roller coaster of ups and downs. At times, we are faced with devastating losses that shake us to our core. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship, or any significant setback, the emotional toll can be overwhelming. During such challenging times, it’s natural to feel lost and uncertain about how to move forward. While change may seem enticing as a means to escape the pain, there is a hidden strength in maintaining stability and sticking to our routines. Come with me and explore the importance of not changing your routine after a major loss. And how your routine can aid in healing and finding new beginnings.




1. Providing a Sense of Normalcy:

In the face of a major loss, our lives can feel completely disrupted. The emotional chaos may tempt us to abandon our established routines. However, maintaining a sense of normalcy through routine can be grounding. It provides a semblance of stability during unstable periods and helps us regain a sense of control over our lives. Following familiar patterns and engaging in everyday activities can offer comfort and a feeling of continuity, making it easier to cope with grief and loss.




2. Creating a Safe Haven

Routines act as a refuge during difficult times. They provide us with a predictable structure and safe haven where we can find solace and respite from pain. By engaging in familiar activities, we establish a sense of security, which helps to alleviate anxiety and stress. It’s within this safe space that we can process our emotions, gradually heal, and rebuild our lives.




3. Offering a Sense of Purpose

After a major loss, it’s common to question the meaning and purpose of life. Routines serve as anchors that remind us of our responsibilities, goals, and aspirations. They help us stay focused on the tasks at hand and provide a sense of purpose. Even in the midst of grief, by continuing with our daily routines, we maintain a sense of productivity and progress. This can foster a renewed sense of hope and resilience.




4. Supporting Emotional Regulation

Grief often brings about a flood of intense emotions, including sadness, anger, and confusion. Changing routines abruptly can exacerbate these emotional upheavals. As we lose the structure and stability that once provided a balance. Routines, on the other hand, allow us to navigate our emotions more effectively. Engaging in familiar activities can provide a sense of normalcy and emotional regulation. Giving us the necessary space and time to process our feelings at a pace that feels manageable.




5. Facilitating Growth and Adaptation

While it may seem counterintuitive, sticking to our routines after a major loss can actually help us adapt and grow. Routine acts as a foundation upon which one can gradually build resilience and strength. By persisting with daily activities, we create a sense of momentum and accomplishment. As time passes, we may find ourselves ready to introduce small changes or explore new opportunities that align with our healing journey. By maintaining stability, we allow ourselves the space and clarity needed to make informed decisions about our future.



In conclusion

In the face of a major loss, the temptation to escape from reality by changing our routines can be alluring. However, it is important to recognize the power of stability and routine during these challenging times. By embracing our established routines, we can find solace, create a sense of normalcy, and gradually heal. Routines offer us a safe haven, a sense of purpose, and emotional regulation. They act as a foundation for growth and adaptation, providing a stepping stone towards a brighter future. Remember, amidst the storms of life, it’s the consistent routines that help us navigate our way back to calmer waters.





I wish I could tell you that I knew some deep secret to the art of grieving, that there was some mystical way of waking one day and being completely over your loss. The secret is, there is no secret. Loss can come in many forms and can strike at any time. While we will all face the agony of loss at some point(s) in life, the fact is that it can be the hardest thing we will ever deal with. My name is Jacinta Wills. I became a Grief Specialist because I understand the need to deal with the difficult emotions of loss. I lost a job that I loved doing in 2010. In 2013 my mother was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. In 2015 my grandmother passed away. 4 days later we lost my mom. In 2017 I separated from my husband of 30 years. I am sharing my personal journey with grief so that you understand that when I tell you I know what grief looks like and have experienced so many aspects of what grief is that I do not take it lightly. The single most important thing you need to realize in this moment of your grief journey is this. However difficult it is, you are in the process of healing, right now. In my group, we will tackle some tough topics. You will be able to share experiences about your loss, receive and give support to others who are grieving, and work through some of the emotions that cause you distress. We will have conversations that are sometimes structured and sometimes free-flowing. You will be encouraged to feel your anger, shame, guilt, love, despair, and hopefully some humor along the way.


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